I Never Learn

I maintain an internal dialogue, constantly telling myself what to do. I can find this interior voice very annoying, so I tend to ignore it. For example, I’ll think “Take the plates off the wall before you try to rehang the picture, or you might knock one off and break it.”  So what do I do??? I DON’T, leave them on the wall; knock one antique majolica leaf plate, newly arrived from England onto the floor, chipping it.  This is one of a matched set of four. I need it for the photo shoot of my cottage. I can’t get another; it’s an antique from England. I am an idiot. I am an idiot. I am an idiot.

Luckily, as an idiot, I have become quite accomplished at repairing a myriad of different things. I glued it back, mixed paint to the exact color of the glaze and repaired the darn thing to complete and total wonderfulness. If I had taken the two seconds necessary to remove the plate from the wall, I wouldn’t have had to:  Go to Home Depot for the glue; glue the piece back on; try to remove the paper towel I glued to my finger tips; mixed the paint; painted the crack; clean the brushes.

I wish I could say I learn from my mistakes, but since I keep repeating them all I can assume is I have a learning disability, newly acknowledged called AOAODL disorder: As One Ages, One Doesn’t Learn disorder. I believe in better living through chemicals, so I can’t wait for the pill to fix this problem. Until then, I’ll just stock up on crazy glue.